Thursday 9 May 2013

Pro-Domme Guide: 5 stupid things you shouldn’t do


If you ever have the opportunity to hang around pro-dommes during their candid moments – especially a shrewdness of pro-dommes (which I propose as the collective noun¹ that should be used to describe a group of pro-dommes), sooner or later the talk rolls around to clients. As in, stupid shit clients say and do.
As I was working on this article, my significant other looked over my shoulder and remarked that this list looks a lot like the stupid tricks her clients pull. I was momentarily alarmed, as she is an attorney, not a pro-domme. But she explained that as a professional woman working mostly with men, she faces all of the same problems and challenges.
So wise up, guys. Read this list and don’t be an ass. Whether it comes to seeing a dominatrix or a lawyer.
Pro-Domme Guide: 5 stupid things you shouldn’t do
Asking for sex
This is the big one. It’s patently offensive to all pro-dommes, which is why they are usually crystal clear about it right up front. So why do so many guys do it anyway? A lot of kinksters will tell you that BDSM and D/s are not about sex. But in my opinion, that’s a black-and-white oversimplification of an issue with many shades of grey. The proliferation of slickly produced BDSM videos from kink.com and other leading purveyors further muddies the waters. You know the ones I’m talking about – where the domme ‘tortures’ the helpless sub by fucking him. Poor guy. We live in a world where everything is about sex. Just turn on the TV, open a magazine, or visit your local watering hole for proof. So it can be extremely challenging to make a distinction between getting naked and permitting a beautiful woman to do evil things to you, and having sex with her. But trust me guys, you just need to take this one on faith. Don’t even bring it up. Professional domination is not prostitution.
Being a stiff
Yeah Beavis, you heard ‘stiff’ and just assumed. But no, what we’re talking about here is breach of contract. Not long ago I was at one of LA’s top domination studios doing some behind-the-scenes business, and a client committed this cardinal sin after a session. He feigned forgetting his cash tribute, explained he couldn’t put it on his credit card for privacy reasons, and excused himself to go hit an ATM machine. Not surprisingly, he didn’t return. But stiffing a pro-domme is kind of like being rude to a French waiter. What’s that? Your crème brûlée tastes extra creamy tonight? She’s got your email address, phone number, and other tidbits of your personal information. And she talks with her colleagues regularly. Do you really want to piss her off?
Lying
Short of a close encounter with a CIA interrogator on foreign soil, you’ve picked the last person you should try to lie to. She’s an expert in seeing right through species horndogius malesapiens – of which you are a card-carrying member. What’s funnier is that you suck at it. You’re not even a challenge. No matter what, she’s going to find out the truth anyway. And she’ll respect you even less when she uncovers your deceit. So don’t set yourself up for a big fail. Just tell the truth – she’ll know how to deal with it.
Wheedling
This is an obscure word for behaviour that’s all too common. The verb ‘to wheedle’ means to coax someone into giving you something, and carries a connotation of dishonest intent. Or to put it in plain language, it means trying to scam her out of something of value. Attempting to drag out a brief pre-session consultation into a lengthy phone session is a perfect example. Another one is asking if she’s looking for a personal slave, particularly when she’s never met you. Her radar is highly attuned to these boorish antics, and she’ll put a stop to it very quickly if you cross this line. But beware – she may send you packing with a one-way ticket.
No-show
Seriously, there’s no excuse, except maybe a sudden catastrophic double amputation courtesy a Mack truck crossing your path. Save the creative excuses – and especially the really uncreative ones like ‘family emergency.’ If for some reason you can’t, or decide you won’t be able to make it, extend her the common human courtesy of letting her know in advance. And if it’s a simple case of cold feet, be honest about it. You’re not the first, and she knows exactly what to do about it.

1 comment:

  1. i hate no-shows. However scared you are PHONE UP and speak to Mistress!!! It's just so rude not to turn up.

    ReplyDelete